Memorial Day

In honor of Memorial Day I decided to post this picture of my brother and I.

Today is a day to remember our fallen Airman, Soldiers, Sailors and Marines. I am so thankful for all the veterans that ave gone before us to pave the way for the freedoms we sometimes take for granted.

Today will also be in my memory for some other reasons. This morning I woke up to a huge pounding on our door, and when I went to the door realized it was the police. They had come at the calling of one of my neighbors who had gone out to walk her dog. She found my purse and scattered belongings behind the maintenance shed near our apartment. My ID card, along with my credit card and digital camera were stolen out of my van. Thank goodess they didn't break the glass to get in. It was unlocked. After discussion with Ryan we both thought the other had locked it. I had Ryan immediately call to cancel the card as I was talking to the police, but it looks like they may have spent some money last night.
I have decided thier is no reason to be upset at this event, cause it could always have been worse. I am so greatful they didn't try to break into our apartment or do something horrible. We have learned our lesson about not locking our car though!

Gas Prices

Have these people lost thier minds? Yesterday I got gas it was $3.72, today it's $3.83!!! THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!!! Looks like our vacations are gonna turn into staycations. I really am going to have to ride my bike to work instead of driving!
Just my getting on soapbox guys!

Ughh tiredness

Is anyone reading this? We finally got an appointment to see the neurologist and he said that Zoe's brain seems fine and that he does not want to put her on medication unless she has another seizure. Which I agree. No sense in putting her on it unless she really needs it. So we will wait to see if she has another one. He referred her to the cardiologist which we will be seeing tommorrow, and to the opthamologist. He also ordered an MRI for her for June 4th.
Zoe went to her first girlfriend sleep-over last night and she had loads of fun. It was kinda weird coming home with just one child last night. Very peaceful though.
I am becoming increasingly tired. I am becoming increasingly worried about my tiredness.. every night I am so exhausted I can barely play with the kids. I mostly just stare at them. And then later I feel really guilty. Since I have been working out I feel a little better, but not great. Does that mean
I am not pushing hard enough when I work-out? Or just that I am in a rat race I will never win?
Father- please give me the energy to be a great wife, mother, worker and friend.

Manic Mondays

This morning I rose at 0420. Wow!!! I got to work on time, but no lunch and no water. That was a mistake. My class is on Day 1 today and I should have known better. I tried all day to get Zoe an appointment with the pediatric neuorologist to no avail. My boss said he is suprised at how calm I am about the whole situation and the fact that he would be standing on top of someone's desk shouting if he were in my shoes. So I promised to shout tommorrow afternoon if I don't get my way by then. And while though some on the outside looking in are seeing a calm cool collected person, I know that it is the peace that passes all understanding. I hope I was a good example of God's peace today.
After work was PT and we ran 3.0 miles... whoa! My knees really hurt... note to self, see podiatrist.

Another note to self.. you really stink at getting to bed on time.... look what time it is!!!!

Friday morning

I woke up with the intention of fixing Zoe's hair before I dropped Thomas off at daycare for my day with Special Olympics. Well... as it turned out, none of those things happened. I was in the bathroom combing Zoe's hair when she said "Mom, my eyes burn! They burn really bad!" So I turned her to face me so I could see her eyes and as I did her pupils got so large I could barely see the iris in her eye. Then in a panicked voice, she said "I can't see!! I can't see!" I waved my hand in front of her face and she went into a trance-like state. I was yelling her name and she was unresponsive. This went on for about 15 seconds. I started yelling for Ryan to call 911, as her eyes rolled back in her head, she hit her head on the toilet and collapsed on the floor. Ryan didn't move fast enough or agree that she needed an ambulance, So I had to call 911. By this time, she was awake from the collapse. I was scared to bring her myself to the hospital because I kept thinking what if she has another one in the van on the way there? Her cousin Addison has had 2 fever induced seizures, and I didn't want to take any chances. I have since learned that my grandpa had seizures. I never knew this till today. (Saturday)
So off we went into the ambulance and to the ER. The ER doc gave her breakfast and did an EKG on her heart since in the ambulance the heart readings were VERY sporadic. They were like 50 to 98 and back and forth. They then made is an appt with the pediatrician, who said she believes Zoe had a seizure called Simple absence. It's when they go into a trance-like state you can't snap them out of. So we have an appointment on June 4th to see the neurologist, but I will be calling tommorrow to find out if we can get her an earlier appointment, because after the whole episode was over when I talked to Zoe she said she had the same feeling the day she fell off the monkey bars at school and broke her arm. So if it's the same thing, it's twice in two weeks. So, we came home and have been "chilling out" ever since.
Saurday- Today we didn't go to my grandparents as usual. We tried to no avail to get some boxes for packing, but we did accomplish cleaning the apartment. Well the countdown begins... 14 days till move day. Sure hope we get our extra tax refund soon!

Winding down for the week

Wednesday.. Always a busy day at our house now cause we get home, eat and go to band/choir practice. We love it though! So it's way past my bedtime. I need to prayerfully consider what to do with Zoe. She has not been using her listening skills and it is not for a lack of our speaking or lack of taking her toys away.
Hmmmmm..... I have to admit... kids don't come with manuals and I (at times like these) get stumped. So what verse do I turn to? "Children obey your parents"... I need to show her that. I just hope we are being good enough examples for her. I think we are, it's just at times like these I get discouraged. I feel like I am always getting upset with her about something.

Father, help me to always be a good example to my children, as you are for us. And please help April find her diamond that she lost today. Give her a sense of peace about the situation. and just in case she forgot to say it.. Jesus lost and found. Amen

Zoe's cast

My power on my computer shut off while I was ploading the picture to the last blog, so here it is seperately.

The last two days

Let's start with yesterday. After work we went to look at yet another house for rent. We decided to take it, despite the couple short-comings. Ryan is so excited because the house comes with a piano... something I can guarantee was not on the list of amenities. Needless to say I am not thrilled. Anyway, the place was decent except for the stains in the carpet, (which will be cleaned by the owner before we move in)and the fact that they were smoking in the house, which I can hopefully chase the smell away with my cleaning techniques I plan on employing before my stuff gets anywhere near that place. So we begin the countdown. We move in the weekend of 7Jun.

Today, I got to take Zoe to get her cast. She picked pink.. not a suprise. Finally we got to clean up the apartment a little. So maybe now is a good time to take the photos I promised Katie. It's almost time for bed. Hopefully I make it on time.

Mother's Day

yeah!!!! Mother's Day!!!! A day for honoring mothers of all generations.
My kids are sooo sweet. They both made me things at school. Thomas made a picture frame that says "This is the hand you used to hold when I was only 2 years old" and the picture is his hand. Cute! Then at church he made a card with a handprint that he colored.
Zoe made breakfast in bed!!!! She brought me a bag that she decorated that had a granola bar and a juice box in it. VERY cute! As well as a bunch of different colored papers and pictures. She wrote me a card that says "You are sweet like a strawberry, yes it's true! Here are some reasons why I love you: You are pretty as a princess and a red rose. I love you momy." Love, Zoe
And then of course there was the my special mom paper.
My mom is as pretty as a princess
She weighs 08 pounds and is 7 feet tall
Her favorite food is icecream
I think my mom looks funny when she is silly
I know she is really angry when she puts me in time out
I wish my mom would hug with me everyday
My mom is more special than my brother to me

Ryan bought an electronic picture frame for me that goes with my easy share camera. It's so awesome!! I am so blessed!!!!!! And I also got a rose from the place where we had lunch. We ate at a catfish place called Aunt Jennie's. It was pretty good. I plan to relax for the rest of the afternoon, and then later tonight to get ready for tommorrow. I will try to be in bed early!!!!

A tired day

Today I woke up feeling like I had not slept all night. Not a good way to start a day. But I overcame and barely made it to work on time... again. For lunch I ate at Mr greeks resturant with some friends form work. It was ok. I don't think I would have gone there on my own, but it was alright. For PT today, I went to the track with my boss to see how fast I could run the mile and a half and I did it in 17:05... which is not good at all. I did better a couple weeks ago and I walked... It was pretty hot in my defense, but I am doubting my abilities for Monday's test. If I score above an 80% it wil only be by the grace of God. I am going to run tommorrow and Saturday to see if I can help my score. After PT I came home and we ate pizza for dinner. I cooked, can you tell? LOL After dinner we discussed the house we looked at last night. I really loved it and we could afford to do it, but it would be a stretch, and Ryan and I have been discussing how important our financial goals are that we have made in comparison to what our "wants" are. So I am going tommorrow to look at a much smaller house and see if we can downsize and save some money to do things with the kids versus having a bigger house. My inspiration on this subject would definitely have to be Katie, if she can have the patience to live in such small quarters and still survive, than I guess maybe I should try it. (K-I say that with all the love in the world.. you are really someone I look up to)
So we will see what happens. In light of two days ago being the 7 month mark of the death of a friend I decided to post the blog I wrote the day week he passed on. I still cry when I read my own words or even think about it. (I am getting teary eyed just now) I can only hope you are half as inspired as I was. And I pray that I remember FOREVER how this experience changed my life eternally.

October 07
Ok let's start by saying this was the hardest week I have had in a while. It all started last Friday when I got a phone call that a friend passed away in a motorcycle accident. He was a good christian man who I will never forget. When I got to meet his family at the wake, they were truly amazing! They have all been so firmly rooted in Christ. They are SO happy that he is in heaven.
So I went home, questioning my own Christianity, wondering how I would react if I were his family, or if God forbid, something that horrible ever happened in my own family. I found comfort in 2 Corinthians 1:3:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
This verse, after questioning my own thoughts, has brought me to realize that God is ALL about the people, (That's you and me) he is always concerned about everything that concerns us. He even understands that we need other humans to communicate his love for us, in our time of need. Afterwards, and still now I feel foolish for crying in front of his family. They are so grounded, they didn't need anyone to tell them the compassion of our heavenly father, they are living it everyday, and that is thier security. Eternal security......wow...almost unimaginable. Until this experience, I never thought that I had a reason to question the eternal... to question whether people go to heaven.... whether it is real... what exactly the criteria for "Getting in" is...... as these were all questions that flowed through my head this week and now I know with absolute certainty it is real.
The day before his memorial service, I was asked to sing. I did, and it was the biggest leap of faith I have taken in weeks. I was so afraid I would crack or start crying, and then I remembered my favorite song..... Sweep me away, Sweep me away in your love, where nothing else matters......it was a beautiful moment..... a god-given, awe inspiring blessing.

A blog for yesterday

Yesterday was a looooong day. It all started with a phone call from the daycare. Thomas had a rash on his face and the caregivers were concerned it might be contagious. So I got him an appt at the clinic and it was not until 2:15.So I brought him home and we hung out. We watched movies... and ate lunch, (almost all of which he put on the floor, on purpose) so his punishment was to take a nap. Well, not really, he was going to take one anyway, but I told him he ws being punished. Anyway, once we got to the doc, she said it's not contagious, but he might have strep, which she tested him for and they still have not called me back to say it was positive, so I am assuming it is negative. She said he does have Excema though, and supposedly put some meds in the pharmacy, but when we got there, the tech said hey were not in the syatem, and sice
I had already waited mlos an hour past his appt time beofre he was even seen I was ready to get out of there. So we left and I have been giving him the lotion I use for my skin problem and it seems to be working. Then we came home and had dinner. At 5:30 we were off to look at another house in Ocean Springs. Right when we got there, about 5 minutes after we walked in, I felt something wet on my shirt. I was holding Thomas and his diaper had exploded on me. YEAH!! The one time I don't have extra clothes for the kid, and we were running late.... ahhhh!!
So, after the house looking, which took way longer than expected, we went to choir rehearsal for church. It was good. I was proud of all our hard work form Sunday night, it seemed to come toge ther. April and I sound really good... we will be two hot momma's on mother's day.. in our hot choir robes!!!! We came home and Ryan had to run out for toilet paper because somehow we got to our last square without anyone putting it on he grocery list. I got the kids bathed and in bed, and I was exhausted. I went to bed shortly thereafter.

Late Tuesday

Wow! Why am I always late???? Cause I hit snooze 10 times!!! I am 0 for 2 this week so far and it's only Tuesday. I hate rushing in the morning, but I am so tired. I don't want to get out of bed cause I am soooooo tired, but I hate rushing around and getting in a bad mood from the start of the day. So, I am going to make 2 concentrated efforts to prepare the night before and go to bed earlier. We'll see how that works. Today was crazy. Ryan called me at about 2:00 to tell me Zoe fell off the monkey bars. I took her to the ER to find out that she broke her arm! She is so amazing to me. She is gonna be one of those women who wants to have children without drugs I can see it already. The doctor was like, "She is stoic! I have 35 year old men in here with hairline fractures that are screaming." But she is, that's my girl, always quiet and shy... even when she's hurt. I was actually really suprised at how much she did talk today. I am so glad that she is doing better with that. We have had to have some long talks about ignoring people or being too shy to speak. So we will be calling back tommorrow to get an appointment for later in the week to get the real cast on. After the ER ordeal she insisted we go to the school to see the kindergarten program. We all enjoyed it.. even Thomas sat really still. Well it's getting to be bedtime!

Father, help Zoe with the pain of a broken arm, and help me to get to work on time, only you can make that happen!!! Amen!

Mondays

Well today started out great and ended great. I looked at a home in Ocean Springs for rent today, and although it was nice, I am not sure the location is where we want to be, although the size was really good for the price. After work, I went out to eat at High Cotton Grill with some of the girls from church. It was really nice to eat a meal in peace. And I feel like I am finally making friends here... as Thomas would say.... AWE-SOME! The day ended with a phone call from my mom and some more pain meds....
Lord, please help me get off these meds soon!!!

A great day

Today was great! Not alot of pain today.... still sucking down pain meds like candy, or so it seems. I am so greatful for today. Finally.... we're here.. finally we are in a place in our marriage where we no longer see the need to fight about silly things. Where we appreciate the other for who we are and love one another.... really love. These things have come about I think since we have started this new church and I truly believe they are since we are together using the talent that God has given us. There is something so pure about that. It's like we have hit our groove and we are moving along smoothly in the call that God has given us. Now I know that Ryan probably would not say it the way I just have, but he would just say we have been getting along better. And its during times like these that I truly want to be the wife and mother I am called to be as well. And I know it's God, even if he doesn't... and that's ok. Today Ryan bought me a Mother's Day present for next Sunday, and I am so excited that it is a suprise!!! Oh how I love suprises.

The message at church today was about the 23rd Psalm. How the Lord is our shepard and we shall not want, because He is all we need. I did hear the preacher say something so true this morning... That christians are not saved to sit... we are to go out and serve.. and I want to do more of that...
Lord help me to find an opportunity to serve you on my days off, and to serve you somehow through my daily work.

Last couple of days

Wow the last couple of days went by without me knowing what day it was. By wednesday last week, I could no longer bear the pain of the huge holes in my mouth and I went back to the dentist who either pulls so many wisdom teeth he can't remember people, or he is crazy. He did not even remember pulling my teeth just 6 days before. Wow what a great dentist. Anyway, he gave me some topical suff that was so nasty tasting I gagged then and for hours/days afterward. And I got more pain meds, which seem to help, but completely incapacitate me. So either be awake in pain or sleep the pain away. Thursday and Friday were a no-go for work, and I was in bed the entire 2 days. This morning, finally, I took only the ibuprofen. I am hoping to stay on just that. I am pretty sure me on pain meds in front of a classroom of students would not be a good idea.
Today, Saturday, we went to my grandma's to find out that my grandpa has colon cancer. It's like someone's trying to tell me I am going to die of cancer one day. Everyone in my family I know that has died has had some sort of cancer. And although my grandpa is not blood-related, it just seems a little weird to me.
On another subject, Ryan and I are looking for a house to rent, closer to Zoe's school. She wants to play soccer, or dance, and we need to be closer to her school so we are not commuting back and forth, We have looked at a couple houses, but I have pretty high standards and it looks like we may be looking for a while, due to the prices around here being what I call ridiculous! And since the church we have decided will be our "home-church" is in that area, we are anxious to move. Well, I guess that's enough for one day.

Monday....

Today I found myself going to work late, because I was on "quarters" till 0900 his morning, which Ryan kindly reminded me of last night. I had totally forgotten. The Air Force almost got a couple more hours of work out of me today. Anyway, Thomas and I got ready slowly and I made it to work close to 0900. I had to be at work today to recieve our newest addition to our office. She seems nice, and she keeps saying that Keesler is going to take some getting used to... (I am not really sure what that means yet) So after I finished driving her around sometime around lunch, I went back to work to work on lesson plans. That was a little boring, but everyday can't be loads of fun I guess. After PT (at which I walked due to the intense mouth pain I am still having), I came home to a delicious dinner that Ryan cooked. I was so hungry. I am SO blessed that he likes cooking more than me, cause he is so much better at it. I also went to Gulfport to the tax service where we had our taxes prepared to find out when we will be getting our money and they were closed. At least I got another Chick-Fil-A milkhake out of it. (And I did find out that they do have Strawberry, Katie.... just for you apparently.. yuck lol)
Tonight my bible reading consisted of 2 Cor. 3:1-6 (I actually read alot more than that, but this was the part that stuck out)

vs 3"Your very lives are a letter anyone can read just looking at you." MSG
I am being thoughtful about who is "reading my letter" these days. People at work, the lady at the tax place who I really wanted to yell at but couldn't cause they were closed, my family alot of whom do not know Christ...wow... anyone... just by looking at me. I wonder what God would think if he only saw the bad things we did. Oh how awful that would be!

Father,
Help me to be a light no matter where I am. Amen

a productive day

Well today turned out to be pretty productive. We went to church, and I sang in the choir, (with a choir robe on) which was a 1st for me. Ryan sounded great on his solo and so did the choir. After church we stoppped at chinese happiness to get me some egg drop soup. I really need to get a recipe for that stuff.
We had lunch and did some much needed cleaning and have yet again vowed to keep the house clean. We really try, but during the week it just gets away from us. Mostly because I am very lazy during the week, and because I have been doing a whole lot of nothing these last couple of days. So we will try again. Today's sermon was about keeping our eyes on the prize as we run the race of Christianity. I want to read some more about that in my message bible before I go to bed tonight. I should have been reading earlier, when we discovered all the TV shows you can watch for free on the internet, which is pretty cool, but time consuming. Which reminds me why we don't have cable.

A saturday of rest

Today we stayed home instead of going to my grandparent's as usual. Ryan and Zoe go to go to Child Pride day on base where there were games and activities. Zoe won LOTS of free stuff. Thomas and I stayed home, just hanging out. He is such a sweet kid when he is not in a toddler mood. Zoe and I just came from Wal-mart, cause she needed some sandals to wear to church instead of tennis shoes with her dress like she did last week. I will try tomorrow to take a picture of Zoe and Thomas before church. They are so cute when they get dressed up.

My mouth is mostly still sore, but the pain decreases everyday, which is good I guess. Tomorrow Ryan and I are supposed to be singing/playing at church service. I am so excited!!!!

Yummy milkshakes

Yesterday I had my wisdom teeth taken out. All is well. The procedure went very well and I don't remember a thing. I have been very blesed to have Ryan home with me these last two days, as he has been my milkshake fetcher. (only from chick-fil-a of course) Yummy!!! I have not had hardly any pain.. which is very good, or could be to large volume of drugs I have been given. Anyway, the last two days have been very calm and quiet and actually hae gone by really fast. I was really looking forward to the time off work, but it has gone very fast and now I only have Saturday and Sunday left. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me, and are continuing to pray!

Thoughts

This morning I started out at the Keesler Prayer breakfast. It was very good. The speaker was a Colonel from AETC and he talked alot about how we should pray for each other no matter our religion, or country. He talked about praying for others no matter how much we may disagree with them or think what they are doing is wrong. He also said that we should pray for God to change our hearts before we pray for others. I thought that was really powerful. It is so true.
I talked to Cheri today, and she was excited to tell me that they are in a great bible study and we shared about praying for God to change ourselves before we pray to change others.
Tonight we attended another great band practice at what wil be our home church, Lemoyne Blvd Baptist Church in D'Iberville. Ryan and I are so excited to be involved with a group again. I am exstatic about having him in church.
Tommorrow I will be getting my wisdom teeth out, at 0900 am. I am so happy that I will be asleep for that..
Hope to post some pics soon!!!!